MB wants some advice from the group. She’s going to get a ton of answers from us and we are all going to say exactly the same thing, because there is only one thing to say in this situation:
Hi Ben –
I had a student ask me for a reference/recommendation. She failed my second quarter, then failed the final. It was not because she had a difficult time with Spanish, it was because she legitimately FAILED – she is a perfect one to get 1’s or even 0’s on the jGR!!!
She would not make things up, she would be absent, come in to take a test and BOMB it – one day she handed a test in to me, and I said, “Really? You really do NOT want to hand this in as your “final answer.” Come back and see me tomorrow after school, because you are clearly having difficulties, and I will help you through it, then you can retake the test.” Her answer: “Nah, that’s OK, I don’t care.” She got a 40 on it.
Today she came in after school and asked if I received the online request for filling out the recommendation. I asked her what she wanted me to write. She said, just tell them how you think I could do in college. I told her that I did not feel comfortable with that because she failed the quarter, the final, she passed the class, but she did not put in any effort. THEN the arguing started….”You think I didn’t study? I studied ALL the time!!! I worked SO hard in this class!!! I stayed after! (No, she stayed after ONCE!)” Then she said, “Fine, if you won’t write it then I don’t care, DON’T!”
So, I went to guidance to speak to her counselor about this situation. Counselor said that Mom has filled out her “Student Brag Sheet”. She is applying to 22 colleges/universities(!), and the guidance counselor can’t even write her a letter – she feels like she just can’t!!! (So it’s not just me).
Oh yeah, she’s even graduating a year early!!!! (even though Guidance told mom that she really SHOULD stay another year – for maturity reasons – in high school!)
Got back from Guidance, and Mom had left a message asking me to call her back! Before I do, I am asking for your advice – those of you who have been through this before – and I am meeting with my principal about it.